~my very first blog,a place where i could let my fingers and wrist joint to work smoothly to convey what is hidden inside the heart,what my heart wants to say,and not what others wish to see...in certain times,writing could bring out such a beautiful meaning that cannot be verbalized by the mouth....if we find difficulty to say them,at least we shoud be able to write them.. (^.^)
I was sitting and looking through window
Imagined if i have taken different path
what shall my life would be
No, im not regret. Never ever.
Being grateful is what i always wanted to be and it should always be
Im grateful for what i am today and for what i have choose.
Because things might go differently if ive taken different step.
What was haunting myself,
Should i stay as a doctor or deviate my path to become lecturer.
Im so in love with clinical but deep inside my heart im longing to further study.
I know it is not easy, but it is not impossible as well.
Ive decided to go for the the interview and May Allah shows what is the best for me..
Blogging while travelling sounds interesting.This is what im doing right now..never did these before.now im sitting at my place on bus, waited patiently for a long journey from kl to alor setar :-) ive been away from perlis for 4 days, went to kl for a family function.it was great.it never ever been unpleasant when family members were around. I feel complete :-)
Sambil menyelam sambil minum air.
After all the hardwork --> working +locum+ extended hours (OT) for the past few months, shopping is definitely a therapy,at least for me :-) and it is more eventful bcoZ I was accompanied by loyal shopping partner , wani and wafiy.hehe :-)
We went to our all time fave ariani kota damansara..Managed to grab a few pieces for myself n my MIL :-)
Then we went to bokitta warehouse at ttdi..my very first experience with bokitta.what I can say its a bit pricey but worth the money..definitely have to work extra harder to own more bokittas.haha.more locum perhaps.
I want to upload some photos but internet connection really not favourable at all.will update photos later.wassalam :-)
Assalamualaikum Alhamdulillah syukur ke hadrat Allah bcoz Im still given opportunity to update my blog after 2 years of last entry. Life has been miserable for the past two years with the title `houseman` and alhamdulillah I have completed these miserable phase since 3months ago.so more story will be coming u,since I no more jd kuli batak.haha..stay tune¡¡¡
Alhamdulillah, setinggi-tinggi kesyukuran kehadrat Allah swt for protecting and bless our marriage....finally its already 1 year....yes, our marriage is oredy 1year old...we got married on 11/11/11, a historical date that we will never forget insyaAllah..A date that would always be special to both of us..we had a small celebration because i believe that every special celebration will keeps us stronger and stronger.
After all,sincere and honest are the key for longlasting relationship. And Alhamdulillah the wedlock is always strong despite all the challenges that we've been thru throughout the journey..Always give and take to ensure the harmony of the marriage, afterall everyone wants to be happy rite? =)
I prayed to Allah that HE will bless this marriage, HE will protect this marriage, HE will unite our hearts, so that the love will always bloom each day, and grant us with anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah, insyaAllah....
To my beloved husband, happy first wedding anniversary sayang, im worried that im not good enough for you, but i will always do my best for u, i love u and will always love u....thank you for being such a wonderful husband, i cant thank Allah enough for sending you to me, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah =)
Assalamualaikum to all..Alhamdullah, we were given chance to live another beautiful day...All praises to Allah..
It was an honourable and exciting day when my UPT turned positive..Those whom has the same experience must know how i feel rite?
The pregnancy was going on smoothly despite all the morning sickness and mild craving ( i had a tolerable morning sickness and craving towards ordinary food)
Somehow,not every cloud has its silver lining and da same things applied to human beings. It was not my rezeki when i did my first scan and the doctor said that she unable to see my baby's heart rate..mixed feeling, dunno how to react, and after all i was shocked...i did the scan thrice with diff doctor ( the 3rd one with the specialist) since i cud hardly accept the news...i still put a little hope that it might be wrong... i did not cried when she broke the news to me and hubby..but i cried, cried and cried when i moved out from the room and walking towards d car. I can feel the loss,loss of sum1 that u loved evntho u never see....perhaps due to bonding that developed btw us for the past 12weeks ..i know my hubby feel the same too,feel the loss, and the sorrow...im sorry abang, i dissapointed u...moga ade rezeki kita next time, insyaAllah...maybe im not taking gud care of this pregnancy,or maybe something might goes wrong sumwhere thru out the journey in which i could hardly detect =(
Redha and sabar....these 2 words motivated me during this difficult time..
Doc gave me options whether i want the process to take place naturally or i want to undergo DNC
She gave me 1 week tyme, If the POC (product of conceptions) not fully expelled naturally, then i have to go for DNC. I agreed.
It was one day before aidiladha and a fews day before our 1st anniversy when we received these news...besarnye dugaan.Sabar+ redha, these two words keep on fluctuating inside my mind.
I never had experience what it feels like when the POC tried to come out naturally...everything started on the night of aidiladha after we came back from visiting our relatives. It was about 11 pm, when i started having this severe cramping pain..it was so severe that i was like berpeluh-peluh and crying in pain. Maybe this is what pregnant women feel when they want to deliver baby.... The pain comes every min and i will pass out gush of blood sampai i pon takut nk tgk that heavy amount of blood.i still remember that i keep on asking hubby to check my pulse rate and my blood pressure.Alhamdulillah my BP was stable, but the heart rate still low around 53-54 beats per min...i could not sleep at all for the whole night since the pain comes every minute and i will bend my body, pressed on my stomach and holding hubby's hand.but still i could hardly bear the pain..subhanallah..it was so painful and i prayed to Allah that smoga dosa-dosa saya terhapus dengan kesakitan yg saya experience during that time....hubby pon dh clueless what he needs to do to bring down my pain and he keeps on reminding me to selawat and istighfar byk2....thanks hubby, i know u also feel the pain when seeing ur wife in this kind of condition....i took 4 tablets of paracetamol dat night and it does not help at all..how i wish i have tramal or pethidine with me during that tyme..huhu....The unbearable pain persisted till the next morning until i passed out the placenta ( it was about a size of mini apple)....
And around 7 am on the second day of aidiladha, hubby brought me to klinik pakar sakit puan around selayang area, but doc was not there since it was a public holiday.Since i was still heavily bleed with passage of large amount of blood clots, so we decided to go to Pusrawi. Alhamdulillah , Allah permudahkan urusan kami. We are very fortunate, because on that day,one of the consultant of ONG in pusrawi was there during that tyme and the doc came to see me...Scan was done and the blood was still there inside the uterus, so we agreed to proceed with DNC in pusrawi..It was done under General anesthesia and the procedure took about 20 mins. Alhamdullilah everything went well, and i was only had a minimal pain.I was discharged at 5 pm on the same day, and still mc till now...
Afterall, i believed that everything happen for a reason, and Allah knows what is the best for us. Eventhough it was a painful reality, tetapi kami redha dgn takdir ini..mungkin bukan rezeki kami, dan mungkin ade rezeki yg lebih baik utk kami di masa hadapan insyaAllah...sekurang2nya, i have these experience in which i can share later on with my patients and advise them setakat yg termampu insyaAllah..To my beloved husband , and my beloved families ( my parents, my parents in law, my sibilings, my aunties and uncles) from the bottom of my heart, i want to say thank you, thank you and thank you for all the supports. Semoga Allah merahmati kita semua..To my beloved hubby,alhamdulillah, i was so lucky that Allah sent u to me,and u are one of the greatest gift that i've ever had. I love u and i will always love you.....
Hari ini masuk minggu ke-4 aku menjalani housemanship
training…still try my very best to adapt with the working
environment..Bukan sesuatu yg
mudah…rohani dan jasmani perlu kuat…minda kene selalu positif..hati kene selalu
ikhlas membantu orang kerana Allah…Agar setiap pertolongan dan bantuan yg
diberikan kepada insan-insan yg memerlukan menjadi saham kita di akhirat kelak,
insyaAllah…Jangan mudah putus asa bila dimarahi kerana ini peluang utk kita
perbaiki kelemahan diri..Pernah and byk kali juga rase down bila kena marah...lagi teruk kalau kene marah walaupun bukan salah sendiri...and
even pernah terfikir nk tukar department la, tuka hospital la, quit la. And mcm2
lg, tapi bila difikirkan kembali mungkin ini salah satu kelemahan yg perlu
diperbaik dan ada hikmahnya mengapa kita terpilih utk berada di dunia perubatan..i feel very lucky because suami tersayang byk bg nasihat, byk bg
semangat..Mungkin kerana kami dalam bidang yg sama dan dia memang seorang yg
amat memahami alhamdulillah..Menghadapi kerenah manusia yg pelbagai,
sememangnya menuntut kesabaran yg tinggi.Ada yg tertib tutur katanya, ada yg sopan bicaranya, tidak kurang ada yg kurang ajar percakapannya…Kebanyakkan pegawai atasan baik-baik belaka..namun pegawai2 yg
dibawahnya tidak semua tetapi ada yg
ego, sombong, memilih bulu dan sebagainya....
Senyuman terukir di bibir bukan lah tanda hati sentiasa
gembira setiap saat setiap waktu. Namun, semoga senyuman yg terukir sedikit
sebanyak mampu mengurang kan
kerisauan di hati pesakit-pesakit…
ku masih jauh…4 minggu hanyalah satu permulaan, pasti lebih byk onak dan duri
menanti di hari-hari seterusnya..Semoga hati ini terus ikhlas dan bersemangat
setiap hari… Memilih Dunia perubatan, terlalu byk pengorbanan yg perlu
dilakukan. Hospital bagai rumah pertama, pesakit-pesakit menjadi keutamaan……masa tidur,masa lapang,
masa makan, comes second.….
dalam ingatan ketika menjadi medical
student..Kenangan paling indah, paling manis…kegembiraan dan kesedihan dikongsi
bersama sahabat2 tersayang…kenangan terindah yg tak mungkin dilupakan sampai
ikhlas buat adik-adik yg masih bergelar medical student , mental dan fizikal
kene fit sebelum melangkah ke alam kerja, sb ramai yg terkandas di pertengahan
jalan andai tiada kekuatan rohani dan jasmani…Banyak kan berdoa pada Allah..Kewajipan kita
sebagai umat islam, solat dan Al-Quran jangan sekali-kali kita abaikan walau
sesibuk mana sekalipun….kerana Apa yg kita cari dalam hidup yg fana ini adalah
keberkatan dan keredhaan Allah, untuk kita bertemuNYA di akhirat sana……wallahualam….moga
bertemu lagi utk lembaran seterusnya, InsyaAllah….